Eastern Ranges 44-17 (281) def Cowell 3-5 (23)
I DOUBT Bruce McAvaney would have had time time to draw breath, never mind deliver his "special" comments, so thick and fast did the stats mount up in an epic first half - if you were a Ranges supporter.
I drew the short straw as far as boundary umpiring goes - retrieving 12 and 13 goals in consecutive quarters - by the time the half-time siren went I had lost more gravy than a leaky family size box of KFC.
Ranges fielded perhaps their youngest ever side with 11 players under 20.
The youngest of them, Tim Hannemann, finished with a lazy 11 for the day and there were some classic goals amongst them.
Riley Evans had five at quarter time, Kyron McCallum and Dustin Harris showed there is no substitute for attacking the ball at pace and when Curtis Newlyn curled one around his body for his second he instantly leapfrogged Elliott 'Burger' Claxton on the all time Ranges goal kicking list.
The mid-fielders were having a field day with Damien Hannemann and Thomas Weiss giving them every opportunity to have first use of the ball.
Jack Kenny was at his brilliant best. It was shades of Ralph 'Zip Zap' Sewer for those old enough to remember the Woodville legend.
Kenny finished with eight goals, four off the left and four off the right, and he could probably lay claim to at least another dozen in assists.
Jake Bruce and Dean Storic were distributing the ball to great effect and at times hitting the scoreboard themselves with two each. Hayden Norris bobbed up for four goals and Lachlan Shambrook was nigh on unstoppable.
On the rare occasion Ranges were forced to defend, Elliott Claxton, Dylan 'Kochy' Jaggy, Ben Shannon, Ethan Tomney and Ree Martin closed ranks to make sure those efforts were mostly short lived.
For Cowell Wayne Piggott led by example and and a couple of their younger brigade in Sean Norsworthy, Dylan Francis Kent (two goals) and Lachlan Turner provided a few highlights.
The B grade also went the way of Ranges 20-11 (131) to Cowell 1-2 (8).
Ranges goals were well shared amongst 11 individual goalkickers. Oddly enough Nathan 'Nosta' Gillings was not among them after missing the first shot of the game.
Moments later he hit one in the sweet spot and it came back for full points only to be called a point by Rhett 'Cyclops' Morrow.
Don't be surprised if the AFL Integrity Commissioner becomes involved. There are whispers aplenty that Cyclops had a same game multi - Jacko Kirvan first goal, Joel Nield 30+ possessions, Joey Crabb to kick a goal (what?) and N. Gillings not to kick a goal.
Congratulations to those lads that represented Central EP at last week's SAPSASA football, by all accounts a cut above the other teams in their division with a couple of thumping wins.
And well done to Erin Roberts, the Cleve Mental Health and Wellbeing Group, the Cleve District Council and the Ranges hierarchy on organising guest speaker Tony McManus who delivered a thought provoking after dinner presentation as part of the Breakthrough Round.