Ranges rebound

Eastern Ranges 16-9 (105) def Cowell 9-10 (64)

THE large LED display on the clock radio, a diamond jubilee gift from the queen, ticked over to 5:38am and came to life just as the weatherman confirmed another fine and frosty start to the day. 

He peeled back the blankets and rolled out of bed, stretched, smiled - Hinkley’s boys had won again last night - then shuffled down the hallway to turn on the kettle that would boil up enough hot water for the thermos and two breakfast coffees.

It’s a Saturday morning routine that has been in play for many a year in the Schumann and Wiseman households as they ready themselves to be first at the footy.

What stoic supporters they have been and still are.

Stung by last weeks sub-par performance, Ranges rebounded to lead the Cats by 17 points at quarter time and 11 points at half time before the floodgates opened and they added eight goals to three in the third quarter.

Ranges would go on to win the game comfortably by 41 points 16-9 to 9-10.

From their vantage point on the “Sanjeev Gupta” bench, (made of high grade steel to handle the heaviest of loads) gnomes one, two and three aka Grant ‘Fuzzell’ Fennell, Brendan ‘Jimmy’ Kenny and Nathan ‘Wigan’ Haines-Darby were liking what they were seeing.

Kane “Daylight Savings” Schubert wound back the clock to kick four of his five goals in that third quarter onslaught, Tommy Lee added two including a beauty from adjacent the coaches box, and Ethan Kwaterski ran into a vacant forward 20 for the easiest of goals.

And when Jack Kenny bent one back on the run at the 16 minute mark for a seven goal buffer, gnomes one, two and three leapt into the air in unison, much to the relief of the Sanjeev Gupta bench whose tensile strength was being severely tested.

When Jared Siviour kicks a goal against you, you know for sure your team is in trouble and that’s what happened late in the game -  although it went unnoticed by goal umpire Adrian Franklin who was asleep at his post.

Ranges had winners all over the ground with the midfield quartet of Bobby Bruce, Jack Kenny, Jess Kenny and Ethan Kwaterski dominant all day, the attack dog Jake Stutley provided a reliable release from defence and Kane Schubert at full-forward finished accurately.

Evans, Rissmann, Elliott and Storic all rated highly too.

Nick Gale, Zane Wycamp, Jake Klingberg, Wayne Piggott and Mitchell Schwert were named best for Cowell

Oh, and it would be remiss of me not to mention the latest decree coming out of Kenchington Palace; channeling The Queen Of Hearts, Bronte now shouts ‘off with your head’ before blowing the whistle and issuing a free kick instead.

Ranges’ B grade won a scrappy game 7-10 to 3-3 and in the process added four new pages to the playbook showcasing several kicks that have never been seen before.

They must be practicing them at training as they were able to produce them at will.

You ain’t seen a mongrel punt till you’ve seen these, I missed the second and third races at Royal Ascot conducting an unsuccessful search of my thesaurus for words to describe them.